A woman's rejoinder

(Pls re-read the male version of the poem below before reading the rejoinder)
My darling, my sweetheart, my adorable hunk
Minus your bank balance you’re just a piece of junk

I love you oh so much honey
But not as much as I love your money

Promise me you’ll never never go away
If you do, I’ll take all your dough, anyway

My heart yearns when you leave me and go
But honestly, I just pretend to feel so

I love to keep house, raise your kids and cook
I wouldn’t be doing this minus your cheque book

I love that nice, round beer belly
After 10 years I still find you smelly

And I simply flip for that receding hair line
I can lie some more if you get me some wine

I love you so much, oh Gerald
I’ll say that till I get my new Emerald


They melt me from within, those eyes
Damn it, my heart is frozen like ice

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Some creativity and lots of time.

(written by someone who leads a one-woman army against the male of the species !!!!)


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WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH…
THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE This is the winner:- My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. I thought that I could love no other -- that is until I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -- Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe “'Go to hell.”' What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts tequila, one part lime JJJ